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Ruminating about a mistake or a wrong choice is a surefire way to nurture unhappiness. Regret can become a habit, says Dinorah Nieves, author of Love You: 12 Ways to Be Who You Love & Love Who You Are. But you can dilute feelings of regret, she says, “if you can instead reframe the decisions you made—looking at why you made them and learning from them—and treat yourself with compassion.”

You can also reframe things by treating yourself like you would treat a friend or colleague who came to you with a problem. We often speak to ourselves in a much harsher and more judgmental way than we speak to others. 

"Draining romances strip you of your most precious resource — your energy," Dinorah Nieves, PhD, a behavioral scientist, counselor, and life coach, tells POPSUGAR. "You may have bursts of inspiration and joy here and there, but you don't have the dependable connection to yourself or the other person [that's] necessary to sustain your wellness."

It’s unnecessary to stop loving someone simply because they don’t love you back. You should feel free to continue loving that person for as long as your heart desires. Think of them fondly. Pray for them if you wish. What you cannot healthily do, is stay in a relationship with that person.

The fact is that if he/she is no longer interested in loving you the way you want and need to be loved, then whether or not you love each other is simply inconsequential. Your desires/choices are now incompatible.

You have to love yourself enough to move forward, toward the type of love you want and deserve.

Have you ever placed a carnation in a glass of dye? The dye travels up the flower’s stem, tinting its pale petals a new hue. This process happens slowly. So slowly that if you were to sit and watch it, you might not notice a change. Socialization can work a lot like that. We don’t always recognize the gradual — and sometimes insidious — way it colors our thoughts. Even the most independent among us are susceptible to this influence. We are biologically social, wired to take on the values, habits, and messages of the culture in which we live. It’s something that behavioral scientist Dr. Dinorah Nieves sees in her coaching practice with high achievers. 

Go out of your way to support businesses that are owned and/or run by women, behavioral scientist and personal development coach Dinorah Nieves, Ph.D., tells mbg. "Many female entrepreneurs lack adequate support in the form of funding or sweat equity," she says. "Invest your time and/or money in competent, capable women who are making an impact

When you treat yourself without respect or love, you give others permission to do the same. Self-love plays a vital role in your relationships with others. Whether it be romantic or professional relationships, or friendships, the view you hold of yourself reflects in the quality of your relationships. To understand the role self-love plays in the ability to give and receive love, and foster healthy relationships, I spoke with Dr. Dinorah Nieves. 

To understand the role self-love plays in the ability to give and receive love, and foster healthy relationships, I had the opportunity to speak with Dr. Dinorah Nieves, PhD, behavioral scientist, personal development coach and consultant for OWN’s “Iyanla Fix My Life”, and the author of Love You: 12 Ways to Be Who You Love & Love Who You Are and Love You: The Latina Edition.

 “To help you feel energized and empowered again, try making a donation,” suggests Dr. Dinorah Nieves, Ph.D., a counselor, behavioral scientist, and author of the new book Love YOU: 12 Ways to Be Who You Love & Love Who You Are...

 “Studies show that most people get stressed around the holidays over not having money, not having time, and not knowing what to do about gifting,” says Dinorah Nieves (aka Dr. D), PhD, a behavioral scientist, personal development coach, and consultant...

"Since we are social beings who are constantly in and out of all sorts of relationships, conflict is inevitable, but it's how we approach those conflicts, whether we're conscious of it or not, that can help us strengthen our relationships," explains Dinorah Nieves, Ph.D., a behavioral scientist, personal development coach, and consultant for OWN's Iyanla Fix My Life. 

If committing to one person was a hard sell for your mate, or if you had to make promises and offer rainbows and it was still challenging, then he or she may not have really been ready, according to Dinorah Nieves, Ph.D., a counselor, behavioral scientist, and author of the new book Love YOU: 12 Ways to Be Who You Love & Love Who You Are says. “People will sometimes just acquiesce to a request for monogamy,” she says. “If desires and skill sets don’t change, that choice may not be sustainable.”  

Dinorah Nieves, PhD, Author, LOVE YOU: 12 Ways to Be Who You Love & Love Who You Are - It’s unnecessary to stop loving someone simply because they don’t love you back. You should feel free to continue loving that person for as long as your heart desires. Think of them fondly. Pray for them if you wish. What you cannot healthily do, is stay in a relationship with that person.

“When we talk about being ‘ready’ for a ‘real’ relationship, we’re talking about being ‘ready’ for a healthy, romantic partnership—a union where there is physical attraction, mutual respect and commitment to a vision that is jointly designed,” explains Dinorah Nieves, Ph.D., aka “Dr. D,” behavioral scientist, personal development coach... 

A good place to start is to take inventory of the things in your life that bring you joy or which have caused you regret, says behavioral scientist and personal development coach Dinorah Nieves, author of Love You: 12 Ways to Be Who You Love + Love Who You Are. These are excellent clues to the areas on which we should be focusing on cultivating or fixing, she says...

 “As we know, opposites very much attract, so often where person is the ambitious go-getter looking to shift and change, while the other is more interested in preserving what is without rocking the boat,” explains Dinorah Nieves, Ph.D., aka “Dr. D,” behavioral scientist, personal development coach and consultant for OWN’s Iyanla Fix My Life. 

 "The show may be called Iyanla: Fix My Life, but Iyanla says her work wouldn't be possible without the support of two other coaches who assist her with guests behind the scenes. In this digital series, Iyanla introduces us to Minister Laura Rawlings and sociologist Dr. Dinorah Nieves, whom she calls "my right and my left hand."
 

So many children who live with domestic violence don't feel they deserve to be taken care of and protected, and loved in a healthy way," says Dinorah... "That's the first goal of what we do: get them to feel they do deserve to be taken care of and loved.

 In such trying economic times, we depend more and more on the generosity and kindness of others to help shine a light. Through that generosity we are brought together and brought to hope. And it was truly an honor to be a part of that process as food, smiles, hugs and good wishes were exchanged," said Dinorah Nieves...